Monday, July 23, 2012

Music Monday: Deftones

It is an empirical fact, that music that is sexy, danceable, and HEAVY, is hard to find. You can have two out of three pretty handily, but not all three. Unless, of course, you have the Deftones

"Change (In The House Of Flies)" is one of my *all* time favorite songs. Lately, I've been dancing to it paired with this gem, featuring Maynard from Tool & A Perfect Circle.

"Passenger" is just fucking hot... And, I believe I've read that it's actually about giving/recieving road head. Which can be sexy, assuming you don't do it so well that someone drives into a ditch. Just saying.

While this is my go-to stage set as of late, there are some other Deftones gems that also go well on stage, especially "You've Seen The Butcher" and pretty much every single track off of the "White Pony" album.

The awesome thing about Deftones, is that I can dance to something heavy, abrasive, powerful, that's still so overtly sensual that it doesn't seem to be too off-putting to customer demographics that normally turn their nose up at girls who dance to heavy metal & punk rock and look the part. I actually get a lot of complements from guys when I dance to Deftones, they like the music and appreciate the break from the constant dance & hip hop tracks.

What are you dancing to lately? Have something you think I should be dancing to? Hit me up at

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Badass Stripper Articles: "Dancing Days" & "Strippers: 5 Things Men Should Know"

Via the *awesome* contributors over at my favorite stripping blog, Tits & Sass, I have a few badass articles about stripping I'd like to share with you today.

The first, "Dancing Days" by Elizabeth Greenwood for The New Inquiry, is an excellent short article about the portrayal of male strippers in "Magic Mike" versus the portrayal of female strippers in film.

A screencap excerpt from Elizabeth Greenwood's article "Dancing Days" published in The New Inquiry.
It's definitely worth reading, although I can't say I completely agree with everything Greenwood has to say. The majority is quite sound & worth the five minutes of your time (especially if you have seen or intend to see the film). I find it interesting that Greenwood's fellow theater goers obviously had a very different reaction to Mike's (Channing Tatum) "I am not my job" scene. If you missed it, you can read my commentary about "Magic Mike" here.

The other article I'd like to share is "Strippers: 5 Things Men Should Know" by Sarah Stefanson for Except, these are five things *everyone* should know about strippers. It's just so refreshing when someone else outside the industry pops up to acknowledge things like...

Screen cap excerpt from Sarah Stefanson's article "Strippers: 5 Things Men Should Know" for
A-fucking-men. The rest of the five things are just as lovely to read, although, I'd like to point out that a lot of dancers make a lot less than you might think, too. We spend far too much time working for free via customers who remain blissfully ignorant of strip club etiquette and economics. But I digress...

Definitely check these two badass articles out while I'm in between posts. Let me know what you think. And do be sure to check out Tits & Sass!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Review: Magic Mike

Sorry for the radio silence! I spent the past week back home in Western Washington to be there for my family's annual car show. ^_^

While I was there I spent some time with my old friend & founder of my sometimes burlesque troupe, Miss Danger Sunshine of The Jezebel Rebels Cabaret. 

Myself, with Danger Sunshine, & Betty Aurora of the Jezebel Rebels. Photo by RJB Photo.

Naturally, we decided the only proper thing to do as professionals in the industry was to load up our purses with Jameson and go see Magic Mike. Overall, it was an entertaining, well-done movie. It did exactly what it set out to do. It was definitely visually pleasing, a lack of Ryan Gossling was perhaps the only problem there. And there are already so many reviews picking it apart. What I'd like to do is point out some of the sometimes painfully realistic bits of real stripper life in this flick. Realities for most on-stage sex workers in America, that I really enjoyed seeing on the big screen. I want to point out the accuracies.

Photo by Glen Wilson via flickr.

Dallas (Mathew McConaughey) has a wonderfully cheesy quote at the beginning of the movie while addressing the audience. "Fact is, the law says you cannot touch! [smilesBut I think I see a lotta lawbreakers up in this house tonight..." It is a fact that in most cities, in most states, the law says you cannot touch us & we cannot touch you. It's also a fact that almost every dancer, male or female, is expected to & does break this rule every time we go to work and some of us have or will encounter legal consequences for this. In many areas any touch, at all, no matter how innocent, opens us up to legal risk. Remember this the next time you are shocked by the price of a lapdance. We never know when a dance might cost us a lot more than they ever cost you.

I love that "the Kid" just gets thrown off the deep end. His first stage show is his first attempt at stripping. This is the reality for most strippers. We didn't take a class. No one coached us on what to do. Chances are someone called our name out over the mic and shoved us on stage with a smile, looking to see if we sank or could swim. And most of us looked nervous and ridiculous, but the audience didn't care. We walked away with a fistful of dollars, and never looked back.

One of my favorite shots of the whole movie? Straightening out bills. Seriously. Hours of my life.

At one point, one of the dancers throws his back out on stage while dancing with a customer and has to hobble backstage. Injuries are an all too common reality of dancing. Though I'd like to point out that most of the time, we just keep dancing & you have no idea. I've dislocated my knee mid-lapdance & kept going for two songs. True story bro.

I really liked that they included Mike trying to get a bank loan and getting declined even with his large cash payment. Because we deal exclusively in cash, dancers encounter these problems all the time. While there are obviously benefits to having all your money off the radar, anything requiring proof of income becomes a real challenge. It can be really, really hard to ever transition to another profitable job or business, or to rent or buy property, and the like.

Another thing I'd like to point out? The dancers weren't tragic figures with daddy or abuse issues, pariahs for selling themselves, or any of that.  They were just dancers providing sexually charged entertainment, making money. And that's exactly what dancers are. What I wouldn't give to see female strippers portrayed this way, to not be seen as just a desperate mess with no self-respect. They, and we, just have fun and make money. 

Also, notice that while the Kid can't seem to handle the attention and the money with grace and moderation, Magic Mike has his shit together. He works other jobs, he takes care of his house, he saves lots of his money, he has plans for his future when dancing no longer works for him, and while he indulges in drugs and alcohol he's not out of control. For every dancer who is a hot mess, there is another who is just doing their job and enjoying their life. In fact, there's two or three. The hot mess is the minority. 

Danger & I, being hot messes via Jameson & ginger ale.

There was one thing about this movie, that made me unbearably angry. I almost teared up, being halfway through our whiskey. Throughout the movie, the 100% female audiece was vocally supportive of our scantily clad protagonists. Until one scene where Mike (Channing Tatum), frustrated & emotional is pleading with his love interest, "Am I 'Magic Mike' right now, talking to you? I am not my lifestyle."

The audience laughed. 

SO much fury. For me, yes, I love my job. I *choose* to be so wrapped up in it. For the majority of dancers, it's just another job. It just pays the bills. It has as much to do with who they are as a person as being a customer service rep, or an insurance broker, or a travel agent. Just like most of you in other professions, who we are at work is not who we are when we get home, when we're with our friends, when we are with our significant others. It's a job. Mathew McConaughey is not Dallas off set, or the god's hand killer, or any other of his characters. And Channing Tatum is not Magic Mike off camera. Grow up, people.

Anyway, that's what I thought about the film. Did you see it? What did you think? 

Interested in learning more about The Jezebel Rebels Cabaret? Check out their Facebook page here

Monday, July 2, 2012

Music Monday: Adventure Club

I know a lot of dancers like to dance to the same specific songs when they go on stage. Others simply don't care what they go up to. Some girls prefer to go up to the latest hits from the top 40 nightclubs or the radio. Personally, I'm very picky about what I go up to. It has to suit my mood, my style, sometimes my audience as well though they need few considerations, really. Mainly, I'm just always looking for better, hotter songs, for a better, hotter stage show. I'm always growing my list of stage songs. And I get bored of my songs easily...

Since moving to Los Angeles, I've encountered the magical phenomenon which is the strip club dj who actually turns me on to new music, instead of perpetuating my ever growing nausea at the same overplayed hip hop songs.

Who knew?

So much love to my current weekend dj for introducing me to Adventure Club, specifically a few of their amazingly sexy, grimey, dubstep style remixes of unexpected songs.

For example, the Adventure Club remix of “Broken Lungs” by Thrice:

Another new favorite of mine, the Adventure Club remix of “Daisy” by Brand New:

Truly, one of the sexiest songs to dance to on stage... Sends shivers down my spine! You've got to hear it over big, bass-laden speakers. You can thank me later. Adventure Club is a duo hailing from Montreal, Canada. You can keep up with them via their Facbook page @

Got some songs you think I should be dancing to? Tell me about it! Feel free to comment, or email me at if you have original music you'd like to send me to check out. 

Head First

That bad mood I was fighting? I turned it into a profitable night.

It was slow. It was quite possibly *the* slowest Friday night that I've ever seen in a strip club. Ever. The dj claimed to have seen worse, but then elaborated that it was the first week this club was ever open, and they weren't even fully staffed yet. With two girls and only one customer all night, he shut it down six hours early and gave up.

By the end of the night, me and one other lovely lady dominated the dance board. Granted, it was still a very sad little dance board overall for a Friday night with about 15 girls. Most clubs have dance counters to keep track of how many dances each dancer does during their shift. I take notice when I'm among the top earners on the board (in reality can be a whole other ball game, but that's another story) on any given shift. Over the short time I've been dancing, this has traditionally been a rare occurrence.

In Seattle where I danced for two years, I typically put lower numbers on the dance board, towards the middle of the girls or lower.. Lately the trend has been changing. My stock has been going up. I've been learning, and, well, I've changed.

A few things set me apart and allowed me to succeed on Friday.

1. A good attitude.

2. Patience.

3. Luck.

When a night that's expected to be busy, and fun, and profitable, is dead instead, girls get cranky. Girls get very cranky. Very quickly. And it's just an awful vibe. It's contagious. Next thing you know you have a whole cluster of girls sitting in the corner drinking thinly disguised cocktails (full nude clubs are dry in Seattle & Los Angeles) giving the room an overwhelming amount of bitchface while talking mad shit about the girls they don't like, or in a pinch, the girls who are doing okay that night anyway. I've passed an awful lot of nights at work sitting in a corner just radiating hate through out the room. I like to keep to myself when cranky though, not be a hater. I like to make a real effort to be nice to everybody I work with. The more people on your side, the better, no matter what. But I digress.

The point is, I'd just written about the importance of being positive at work, and, I practiced what I preached. I took breaks to psych myself up when I needed to, focused on other things, and went out on the work floor with a smile, looking like I was having a good time. Guys have a very hard time suspending disbelief to get into the fantasy that a stripper wants to rip their clothes off when the girl doesn't even look like she wants to be in the room. They want to feel like just being around you is a fucking party they're going to take you home from.

It worked. I stood out. There wasn't much to work with, but I kept trying and I sold a very respectable number of dances. I have a number where I'm okay, a number where I'm happy, and a number when I feel I've reached serious stripper money. I turned this into a very happy night. But I only got that far because I was still out on the floor, ready to work, at ten minutes till close.

My club closes very, very late. Past last call at the bars. This night girls started giving up and leaving early. When the last half hour rolled around, almost everyone was on their way out. By ten till I was pretty much alone, and took it upon myself to make one last round to ask people waiting on their friends if they wanted dances, and boom, one customer jumps up and says hell yes. He buys a block of five songs. SCORE. Even better? He tips me 70%. There will always be nights that the last hour is completely useless. The last two hours even.  But, you pay a house fee, for a full shift, so, why not make the most of it? Girls with better bodies, with better hustle, girls almost ten years younger than me, left with no dances on the board. A good attitude, patience, and luck. The next time I'm the one at the bottom, I have to remember nights like this.

Luck got me my money. But only because I put myself in a position to be open to it. You can't get lucky if you're not around when it hits.

For example. The next day. I very nearly didn't go in to work. When I was running later than I had planned, I was even more inclined to skip. But I decided to stick with my plan. It's silly to not go in on a Saturday night. It was the best shift I've *EVER* had. In terms of the experience, and the payoff.

We'll talk about that experience another time though. ^_^ I'm still basking....

("money" photo courtesy of 401k 2012 @ & "Good Luck" photo courtesy of Artotem @

Friday, June 29, 2012

Where's Your Head At?

There's a (not so) dirty little secret about stripping. Nights, weeks, entire careers, sink or swim in the minds of the dancers. No one, and I do mean no one, makes good money when a bad mood takes over.

Negativity is the money-killer.

Can you just *see* the bad mood? Bitchface does not sell dances...

A dancer can have perfect tits, an ass you can bounce quarters off of, a sleek figure, an amazing stage show, on and on and on. But if she comes in stressed out about making rent, thinking about an argument with her boyfriend or girlfriend, feeling guilty and unattractive because she skipped the gym all week, it's game over.

If you get on that stage with stretch marks, no makeup, more to love, small breasts, wet hair, whatever it is you or the customers might find less than ideal, but you're wearing a smile, feeling good, having fun and being flirty, there's money out there.

Sometimes, nights that start with bad moods end with huge stacks of paper. But, that's because there was enough of a break in a dancer's clouds for a customer to see the light. Dancers have lots of superstitions about what does and doesn't make money. A bad mood is a known, proven, documented threat to your income.

Ever tried to have sexy tiems with your lovely partner when you're feeling unattractive? When you're having a bad self-esteem day? When they've just done something that makes you feel bad? Imagine mustering up the ability to seduce a complete and total stranger who is most likely not physically attractive to you when you feel that way.

Yeah. It tends to not go well. Which often perpetuates and deepens the bad mood in a nasty little spiral.

Fear not, true believers! There are tricks to reclaiming a good mood on the work floor that I keep in my back pocket.

- Keep a list of power songs. Songs that you absolutely love, that you feel *compelled* to dance to and never fail to put a smile on your face. Songs that make you not give a fuck if the customers are watching & tipping or not. Songs for *you*. A few of my favorites are "P.Y.T." by Michael Jackson & "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy.

- Change outfits. Sounds weird, but it works. It helps you reset your brain, and helps customers to kinda get a new first impression of you. In a big enough club or with drunk enough customers, they will probably really think you're not the same girl.

- Look at porn. No joke. Keep a stash or a link to a good website (I have a few Tumblr blogs I love to go to, like delicate-sex-and-love) on your phone. Good porn will not only help distract you from your bad mood, but it might even turn you on which is a definitely money making boost. If you're just not very visual, copy and paste your favorite sex scenes from books into an email you hide in your email inbox.

- Caffeinate. It's a stimulant, folks. Far more legal, accessible, and safer than the stereotypical strip club favorites. Having a Red Bull stashed in your gear bag for when you're feeling down can save your shift. Sometimes, you just need a little energy.

- Give yourself some time. Go ahead & hide in the dressing room for a few minutes. Sit in the corner of the room and watch the human circus. Go sit & chat with the manager or bartender or somebody. Check Facebook & play a round of Draw Something. Remind yourself that nobody is on point all the time, and that you only need one good customer to make your entire night. Go get him.

And finally, if all else fails,

- Know when to pack up, live to strip another day, and take some mental health time. If this is day two or three of the blues, it's time to take at least one, if not two or more days off. Rest & self maintenance is just as essential to making money as going to work. You may find that when you work less, you actually make more.

I write this, while in desperate need of taking my own advice. I worked till 4am then showed up for dayshift at 1pm, so I am *tired*. I've got difficulties in my personal life weighing on my mind. I've got upcoming travel stressing me out, and I am convinced that I can see the Fillet o' Fish I secretly indulged in among other things the other day right there on my ass. CONVINCED. And on top of that it's been dead, nothing but a few customers who want to tip a dollar or two to the stage and leave without buying any dances. So, here I am. Doing something I love while hiding in the dressing room. Biding my time so I can step out later, when there's customers more worthy of the effort, and do work.

Stay positive, ladies. What do you do to conquer bad moods in the club?

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Review: Katy Perry Lashes by Eyelure

You'll notice that I don't have any pictures of me actually wearing these lashes...

See, I wear lashes constantly. I'd sooner leave the house with no makeup than with no false eyelashes. Because I wear them so often, durability is a factor. A pair of eyelashes that look amazing, but only look amazing once, are of little use to me. I also have very little use for subtle lashes. In fact, the vast majority of lashes I try, I end up doubling-up with at least a second pair of half-strip lashes.

So I had some hope for these Katy Perry "Oh, My!" lashes by Eyelure. The other varieties of Katy Perry lashes looked way too thin for me to ever spend $7.59 for one pair, but this box looked like they already did the work of doubling-up for me.

When I trimmed them to fit and put them on, they looked great! Very full, very feminine. I usually prefer lashes that flare out at the outer corners, but these really struck my fancy. I fully intended to use them again the next day and take pictures.


They died on me after one use. One of the lashes was fine, but the other developed a gap in the middle of the band, and that was that. Given that I can double up two pairs of Japanese lashes at $1.50 a pair, and make them last for about two weeks of wear, I won't be buying these again.

If you only wear lashes once in a while and don't want to be bothered with doubling-up your lashes, these might be right up your alley. Do be aware though, the band is pretty stiff and not exactly easy for someone new to lashes to apply. Also, don't bother with the included glue. It's rubbish, as per usual. Always go with a trusty tube of DUO adhesive.