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Friday, June 29, 2012

Where's Your Head At?

There's a (not so) dirty little secret about stripping. Nights, weeks, entire careers, sink or swim in the minds of the dancers. No one, and I do mean no one, makes good money when a bad mood takes over.

Negativity is the money-killer.


Can you just *see* the bad mood? Bitchface does not sell dances...

A dancer can have perfect tits, an ass you can bounce quarters off of, a sleek figure, an amazing stage show, on and on and on. But if she comes in stressed out about making rent, thinking about an argument with her boyfriend or girlfriend, feeling guilty and unattractive because she skipped the gym all week, it's game over.

If you get on that stage with stretch marks, no makeup, more to love, small breasts, wet hair, whatever it is you or the customers might find less than ideal, but you're wearing a smile, feeling good, having fun and being flirty, there's money out there.

Sometimes, nights that start with bad moods end with huge stacks of paper. But, that's because there was enough of a break in a dancer's clouds for a customer to see the light. Dancers have lots of superstitions about what does and doesn't make money. A bad mood is a known, proven, documented threat to your income.

Ever tried to have sexy tiems with your lovely partner when you're feeling unattractive? When you're having a bad self-esteem day? When they've just done something that makes you feel bad? Imagine mustering up the ability to seduce a complete and total stranger who is most likely not physically attractive to you when you feel that way.

Yeah. It tends to not go well. Which often perpetuates and deepens the bad mood in a nasty little spiral.

Fear not, true believers! There are tricks to reclaiming a good mood on the work floor that I keep in my back pocket.

- Keep a list of power songs. Songs that you absolutely love, that you feel *compelled* to dance to and never fail to put a smile on your face. Songs that make you not give a fuck if the customers are watching & tipping or not. Songs for *you*. A few of my favorites are "P.Y.T." by Michael Jackson & "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy.



- Change outfits. Sounds weird, but it works. It helps you reset your brain, and helps customers to kinda get a new first impression of you. In a big enough club or with drunk enough customers, they will probably really think you're not the same girl.

- Look at porn. No joke. Keep a stash or a link to a good website (I have a few Tumblr blogs I love to go to, like delicate-sex-and-love) on your phone. Good porn will not only help distract you from your bad mood, but it might even turn you on which is a definitely money making boost. If you're just not very visual, copy and paste your favorite sex scenes from books into an email you hide in your email inbox.

- Caffeinate. It's a stimulant, folks. Far more legal, accessible, and safer than the stereotypical strip club favorites. Having a Red Bull stashed in your gear bag for when you're feeling down can save your shift. Sometimes, you just need a little energy.

- Give yourself some time. Go ahead & hide in the dressing room for a few minutes. Sit in the corner of the room and watch the human circus. Go sit & chat with the manager or bartender or somebody. Check Facebook & play a round of Draw Something. Remind yourself that nobody is on point all the time, and that you only need one good customer to make your entire night. Go get him.

And finally, if all else fails,

- Know when to pack up, live to strip another day, and take some mental health time. If this is day two or three of the blues, it's time to take at least one, if not two or more days off. Rest & self maintenance is just as essential to making money as going to work. You may find that when you work less, you actually make more.

I write this, while in desperate need of taking my own advice. I worked till 4am then showed up for dayshift at 1pm, so I am *tired*. I've got difficulties in my personal life weighing on my mind. I've got upcoming travel stressing me out, and I am convinced that I can see the Fillet o' Fish I secretly indulged in among other things the other day right there on my ass. CONVINCED. And on top of that it's been dead, nothing but a few customers who want to tip a dollar or two to the stage and leave without buying any dances. So, here I am. Doing something I love while hiding in the dressing room. Biding my time so I can step out later, when there's customers more worthy of the effort, and do work.

Stay positive, ladies. What do you do to conquer bad moods in the club?

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